Revised Hawkeye Schedule

Sept. 17th, 2007
Iowa City, IA

The University of Iowa Athletic Department has released the 2008 football schedule, and it was a surprise to see Iowa will only play 3 teams next year:

Aug. 30 ? Bye

Sept. 6 - Bye
Sept. 13 - Bye
Sept. 20 - Bye
Sept. 27 - Bye

Oct. 4 - @ Ohio St.
Oct. 11- Bye
Oct. 18 - Bye
Oct. 25 - @ Michigan

Nov. 1 - Bye
Nov. 8 - Penn St.
Nov. 15 - Bye
Nov. 22 ? Bye

Gary Barta announced the change after the Hawkeyes lost, again, to in-state rivals, the Iowa St. Cyclones. Barta, Our great fans demanded that the Cyclones be removed from future schedules because the Hawkeyes had nothing to gain in national prominence by playing [the Cyclones].

Barta went on to explain that after looking over the schedule there really weren't many teams that did give the Hawkeyes a chance to gain respect nationally. Iowa will only continue to play Penn St, Ohio St. and Michigan.

After being questioned about past losses to struggling Big 10 programs such as Indiana, Northwestern, and Minnesota. Barta explained that [the Hawkeyes] couldn't win those games because [Iowa] is every teams' Super Bowls, and the those games don't mean as much to Iowa.

In related news... Ohio St, Michigan, and Penn St. look to end their series with Iowa as those schools have nothing to gain and everything to lose in national respect by playing the Hawkeyes.

Coming Tomorrow: Iowa to No Longer have a starting QB ? Only 2nd Team QB's because the Back-up is the Best Player on the Team

From Inside the Cookie

Its been awhile since I've been to an Asian place. Skinny White Chick doesn't like them. Something about rather eating ground glass and chopped up worms.
So this is the latest words of wisdom from inside the fortune cookies

Use your charm and personality to your advantage. (I don't write them I just eat the cookie)

You could prosper in the field of entertainment. (I'd like to thank the academy for voting for me)

Your principles mean more to you than money or success. (I'd also like to thank the small people)
Learn Chinese:Dianyling yuan....Cinema.

More Words of Wisdom from the Cookie

Fortunes from real fortune cookies

Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.
Learn Chinese Yu....Fish

Sell rather than be. (anyone got an idea on that one)
Learn Chinese Piao....Ticket

If the table moves, move with it.
Learn Chinese Ou-zhou....Europe.

So what have we learned...Influence others by selling them a moving table. Or Yu piao ou-zhou,My fish got a ticket in Europe.